Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Do you remember phone booths???

Do you remember phone booths??? Waiting in line from a dorm room to call home on Sunday nights, standing on a street corner to call mom for a ride back from town, making a collect call or using a calling card when you had no quarters on hand???  If so you must remember a time when the kids in the neighborhood went down the street to play touch football or board games...without parents policing how hard you touched your playmates or how many houses you had on park place...or on the flip side cheered you on to score a touchdown as if you were already in training to be recruited by a D1 college...remember random, unscheduled, unstructured and unencumbered playdates...but alas they would never have been refereed to as a playdates because that would imply that some crazed alpha-mom would have wanted her kid to socialize with a handpicked playmate...said alpha mom wants her little star to get to know little Johny because he is a sporty kid and already considered popular in the 4's program at the local nursery school...plus little Johny mom is so desperate for attention and overly excited by her husbands income that she throws killer parties and you want to make certain that you, your spouse and your little star in are invited...so you make the call...you tell her how your kid adores her son and how it would make your offspring oh so happy if her little Johny could agree to a playdate....yikes...i have got a cavity from just thinking about this conversation...you, half-crazed alpha-mom have helped turn little Johny into a monster child by reeling off a long list of accolades to his totally self absorbed mama...you have started the snow ball...little Johny's mom has the it kid...sure your star will get his couple of playdates in but little Johny's mom has bigger goals...seek out the kids who she thinks have cool parents who will push their kids in the same direction...next thing you know your little star is watching by the sidelines and you are sad and miserable because you are not included in these reindeer games...life is not fair but you created these rules...teach your kid to put a quarter into a pay phone, remember the pleasant days of just hanging out with the gang down the street playing touch football or monopoly and realize you are okay and so to will be your child...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Your Kids on the Spin Cycle

We are all marketing geniuses when it comes to our kids...come on you know it, we can spin it, position it and brand our kids...even issue a press release via email and thought pieces over a coffee at Starbucks...your kid is not taking AP English...why??? Well he is a real math/science kid and we don't think the teacher is the right fit...really, who ever heard of not taking a class in high school because your parents don't like the teacher...and you go on to suggest that your neighbor should not allow their child to take AP English either...why...because you don't want your neighbor's kid to do anything more impressive then your kid...you kid tried out for soccer and recently at a party you told everyone how your little Johnny is such an all star that he is playing for a travel team in another town...really...he is...sure he is...he is playing for a sign-on team in another town that could not fill all of its spots and they travel because it is not part of a rec league...get with the program, be honest...a little spin is fine but don't be a lair, lair or your 7 Jeans will be on rapid fire!!! Really your daughter got an internship this summer...for real...she is 15 but a wall street firm thought that with all those over qualified MBA's out in the market place that your little Sally was the perfect fit for a summer position...okay so they don't have to pay her and the MBA's might want some compensation but really...you paid a placement agency to get Sally an internship so why not fess up and make the story seem plausible...my son went to Amherst, took classes not taught by Amherst professors, had a blast, did not get college credit...but he did go away, fend for himself, learn how to do some laundry and use a debit card...oh and played some tennis...maybe he will play D1 tennis in a couple of years...that is why you spend gobs of money on tennis lessons that you drive hours to and than complain about all the driving you do because your housekeeper is busy at home making dinner....oh i digress...your kid is a sporty guy, her daughter is a thespian, their son is a rocket scientist...kids are not just kids anymore they are what they do and that do what you think will set them apart, make them known for something by the time of their bar/bat mitzvah and prepare them for the hardship that is high school because their parents are not following behind them raking the sand trap...get a life...your own...spin yourself...get a job, volunteer, make dinner for your family but leave your kid to be a kid and if you can't than grab an eff of silly putty and take a look at the image you have created.