Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Share The INFO People...

when my older son was heading to high school a kind neighbor and friend got me a gift...a book...with a title that i have recreated and distilled down in my mind to (since i currently can't find the book in my house)....All the things that guidance counselors don't tell you and your friends wont tell you....PEOPLE...how do we know if you wont share....its true...i now have a son looking at colleges...and bam...the guidance department is great...but not at my beck and call...and the friends and acquaintance networks...well...you need to beg, plead and steal information from the majority to get any kind of answer and it is usually tied up in some kind of pretzel logic so convoluted  that you don't understand and feel even dumber and more inept after you ask the question...before you were just in the dark...now you are in the dark at a rock concert and naked...completely exposed...the lack of sharing works wonders in one and only one area of parenting and motherhood...that's the pregnancy part...if you told me that no mater what i ate...in my case Mr. Cookieface ice cream sandwiches during one pregnancy and a restricted healthy diet through the other...that i would gain 65 pounds!!!...or that your body starts to develop new odors...hair in new places...terrible indigestion and other gastrointestinal issues...well than no one would ever get pregnant...which would have one good outcome...not having to look at colleges and navigate a series of tests, measurements, GPAs and the application processes...however sharing info on camps, colleges, summer programs, teachers, sports teams tryouts and how the DMV works among other parenting quandaries...well the world would be a kinder gentler place...i have my go to gals...and thank god for them...i try to share...most of the time folks appreciate it...other times...well i am met with a befalling barge of how my information is wrong, untrue and incorrect and i should get my facts straight so i don't totally screw up my kid...yikes...
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pardon the interruption a college admissions office just called...they identified my kid through the PSAT's as a good candidate for their school...the PSAT's folks share...why can't you...be a sport...we all need some help!

PS...if anyone out there and decipher what the actual title of the book is please help us all and post it here so that others can get a copy!!!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

really that's your chair....

....really...than if it is your chair why is your nasty ass not in it....why is your name not on it.....why did you just say that's my chair and continue to exchange one up's with your neighbor who you just bumped into...so her kid made the 'A' team and your kid got into the college of his choice and her little Johnny  got the staring role in the school play...and you went to the hottest new vacation spot and she just got into a country club...this is all fascinating and amazing...i could give a rats ass...BUT...you just laid claim to a chair that i had been politely waiting for and yet although your hand is on the back of it your ass is still vertical....my business partner and i took our number...ordered our food...cased the joint for a table for two...came up short by a chair and waited patiently for a vacancy to pull over to our lunch locale...while i had my back to the seating section to say hi to a friend you walked in the door, shimmied yourself between me and the chair i had been waiting for and BAM...it became yours...i actually thought i could explain nicely that we had been waiting for that chair...your response....well i don't see you in it so i guess you are not using it....really....scary part is that you then chatted up a blue streak...looked to your lunch mates for approval of your awful behavior and dragged the chair across the joint...to my absolute horror you pulled your chair up to a table with my Dr's wife who belongs to my fancy ass country club and she sat there idly as you parted me from my seating and thus my lunch...your arrogance was amazing...fascinating...i really wanted to know if you thought what you did was right...or nice...or even justified...but you smugly sashayed away with my seating...hung your decrepit fur coat on the back and made your way to the counter to put in your lunch order....what stopped me from heading right over to your coffee clutch and stealing back the seat...well...i really did not want to stoop to your level...i knew i could blog about it...but frankly it took all my willpower not to walk over to you....stick my chest out and interrogate your for your nasty behavior....what about kindness...treat your neighbor like you would like to be treated...maybe i should pull the chair right out from under you...well i found a table with two chair...mine unfortunately was facing right across to you...i was so distracted wondering if you and your friends really felt okay with what just happened...i was embarrassed i can only imagine what everyone in the store must of thought of you...you one up'd me as well...oh well...so really next time you are looking for a seat, a parking spot or getting into a que (line) think about the other people in your general proximity and consider if in your haste you may have inadvertently skipped a step and gone out of turn...apologize it actually feels good...but if you really needed my chair to make yourself feel better...well you got it!!!