Reply All...Revisited

I wrote last summer about the negatives associated with hitting that innocent looking reply all button...Aside from totally junking up my in-box and making my blackberry choke on the download, sharing with everyone can cause emotional damage....last summer i was outed for not participating in an event via a 'replay all' thread....I actually tried to respond the old fashioned way...land line to land line...i made contact with the reply all offender...when i hung up the phone i thought she and i had an understanding...but her response did not end there...she could not resist  an impulse click on that pesky  reply all button, which in turn distributed her venom to the original group email...she let everyone know that i was out and thus our committee needed a hero...oooyyyy...imagine how i felt...embarrassed and totally pissed off...bad combo platter in cyber land....but i restrained from having a reply all button battle and spared the group the my email and the misery of reading my retort!

Reply All is the popularity scale of pop culture...its the see how many people in the To: line i can tell about all of my activities....

             DING there is goes again..."Sorry I can't get out of work that day"

 DING..."I am on jury duty...sorry"

Reply All lets everyone know how important you and your husband are and what the family is up to

...

                                              DING..."oh we are out of the country...could you please reschedule?"

okay so this person now has added a double wamy...she is traveling and wants all of us pedestrians to reschedule for her...really...was she at the Royal Wedding today...well if not we are not rescheduling for less the royalaness...

                     DING...oooyyyy, enough already...this one is a response to an email bday party invitation letting all of the invitees know the details of said responders family's weekend plans so that we all know why the twins will come late to and leave early from the bday party...

Please people this is too much information to share...i would rather a direct correspondence letting me know that you have your period and you're cranky...i might laugh and send you a winky face...or that you and your husband have a wild weekend planned...to this i might send you a naughty winky face...i might even tolerate some email diarrhea about your kids plans for the weekend and your evening and how come you can't be where you are supposed be and how that is now my problem...blah, blah, blah...to this i might respond with a pithy...'oh so interesting'...but you don't need to communicated any of this information in a GROUP EMAIL...group emails alerts are the year 2011s cover your ass memo...with one exception...if the sender is trying to coordinate with all parties and explicitly asks for a reply all...then we all need to suck it up ;-)

...so please stop carelessly clicking replay all...i won't be confused as to why you are or are not attending an event...if i like you enough i might even ask you how come you were not there...and funny if you are actually my friend we might have even discussed your plans and i would have known in advance.

...as my father always said...don't talk...or in the case email...just to hear yourself...speak when you have something important to say...

Mind Your Drama

I need a Sunday and it is still a week day....I have been sucked into the vortex of suburban drama ...its bad enough that i have a perpetual kink in my neck...which my trainer actually gave me a great exercise for and explained that the trouble is really from my upper back being tight...who knew....but your drama is beating the shit out of my brain...who is doing what, where, when and why...lunches, dinners, parties...kids, outfits, who is in and who is out...did i or did i not get invited, buy something you want, have lunch with your friend, visit a college on your kid's list, or take so and so and not your kid to the ball game...yikes...you spend more time worrying about what you do than doing anything productive!

...all i want is to get through my day in relative peace...I don't have enough energy to do more than wake up, make a few beds, work out, work...my company actually needs tending to...books to be kept, orders to be processed, inventory to be ordered, salaries to be paid and celebrity spokes people to be placated...that one i am really good at!!! Once all that is accomplished i move onto the big stuff...whats for dinner and who needs to be transported...i am a chauffeur, currier and cook...the three C's

the three C's help me reduce the drama...i focus on getting food...being with my family and sharing time and a meal...i don't mind transporting...it is not something i complain about or find to be a suburban burden...i like the zen in it...and don't mind transporting other peoples kids...i DO mind the drama that comes with the carpool configurations from nursery school to sports...it becomes an opportunity for drama to creep into my day and permeate my life...I don't want to police unruly kids...I want the flexibility to change my plans...and i really don't want to give anyone a chance to make me privy to their drama...or frankly make up any drama involving me...i don't care where your husband is (especially if he is not with your or in his office) or what your other kids are doing...and i certainly don't' care about your appointments.

don't get me on the phone, or text message me, don't bbm me and ask me to agree to a years worth of carpools for this seasons bar/bat mitzvahs or because our kids have had the unfortunate destiny to be on the same sports team and we live around a suburban corner from each other...just let me be...alone with my kids in peace and quiet and drama free...I don't need you stalking me for a carpool only to question me about irrelevant topics so that you can in turn use my answer to boost your agenda...or tell me how wonderful you kid is...how smart...athletic...artistic...and other wise incredibility talented...oh and so charitable toward others your little boy wonder is! If you are not talking about your kids than you are most likely being disagreeable either to the positive or negative...which ever is the opposite of my answer to your question...a total set up...why bother...you just cause me to get my dander up...yes dad i just used dander in a sentence...and i might without further ado become that person...

...ick...I so don't want to get involved with the drama you just created for me...cover your own tracks, keep your secrets secret and drive your own carpool because your drama is toxic....your drama spilith over and i don't want to get splashed...it hurts!

***footnote*** The you is NOT you, don't create any drama were none is necessary...it is a category problem not a brand issue

Intersections: the good the bad the ugly and the 8 minute wait

well people there are intersections all over...and in suburbia most of them have an issue and some associated drama too boot!!  we intersect with some many situations and people...and often a physical intersection can bring about an emotional response...good, bad and if you are in your car waiting at a 4 way crossing...ugly...a friend called the other day to tell my about her driving stress around our small suburban community...our town has gotten too big and full of entitled individuals, driving all to nice vehicles and yet we still have busy intersections without clearly marked directions...people it is the year 2011 and folks need to be told what to do are they act on their own instinct....oh and i don't mean a simple stop sign or arrow...no we need soup to nuts directions...who can go...what do the cross hashes means...if i am stopped with a car in front of me and another car comes from a different direction...the car in front of me goes...who goes next??? everyone is in a rush and their drama is more important than yours or mine...so there will be no yielding...no regard for my position in the intersection and certainly no regard for simple traffic signs....we need a "do to" list at every crossing!!

we have a four way intersection in the center of town...from one direction a right hand turn lane appears and disappears...from another direction  into the intersection there is a perfectly singed stop...the main street has only a "stop for pedestrians" sign...and you can imagine how likely that is to happen with the rush, rush, me, me mentality...i admit to my fair share of driving induced aggravation but i try to balance that with an overtly nice gesture on occasion of letting someone who is painfully waiting to make a left take the turn in front of me...i think the left turn courtesy is old school and hearkens back to a time of gentile civility...when most families had one car...not three..oh yeah if your asking i have three...blah blah blah.

..so a friend called me with her story of the eight minute wait...our conversation put me at an intersection between work and play...a positive intersection...i got to chat with my friend...by for her she just spent eight long minutes face to face with entitled bad manners...so what is the intersection etiquette...she patiently waited at the stop sign behind several cars...finally got her turn as first in line at the stop...just at that point a car across from her entering the intersection by making a right pulled into place...she started in ease into the street to make her left and head home...just at that point the car making the right pulled right in front of her...into the center of the intersection and stopped in the pedestrian walkway...the gentlemen driving had nothing better to do that get out of his car and chastise her for her left...he had the right of way...come on...we have all lived here long enough to know that we need to share the intersection...yes in a perfect world he had the right of way...but in a small town without detailed traffic directions we need to share the roadway and be civil to our fellow drivers...i know it is a stretch...but stretch yourself...but a little...think before you make your right-hand turn...we know right is right...but sometimes our left turn buddies have been waiting patiently, are in just as much a rush and would love some consideration to their plight...otherwise we will turn suburbia into Lexington Ave and all try to beat the lights heading downtown...Consider the intersections in your life and take a moment to give some thought as to what mark you want to leave at each encounter.