...really, i already told you NO Reply All

For the love of g-d please stop with the reply all....we all know who is on the distribution...unless you do the sneaky bcc format...which really is so much fun...the question if provokes...you work that one out for yourself...my pet peeve is the reply all...okay i am fairly certain that you think you are interesting and that everyone on the list is all too interested in your response...i mean it's not like working mom and mom at home with kiddies can't revile the president with mails...so please why do you need to cram up my mail box with reply all responses...my father always said 'don't talk just hear year yourself, have something to say'...you answer in the replay all is not what what he meant...i am sure that you want everyone to know that little johnny was invited to the party...in case mom missed seeing your email on the 85 person distribution list to the 12 year old b-day party...but really don't reply all so that you can tell the 84 other families that you are going to be out of town and that is why your dear sweet johnny can't make it...just in case they needed to know so that when their little angel who is looking for an issue comes home and tells his mommy that your johnny was not there you dear friend can respond appropriately 'oh no worries johnny is out of town'....similarly i don't need to know that Sally has a stomach ache.. Hannah had her hair done...and Becky had botox...all excellent reasons not to participate in the meeting at hand...but really what are you trying to communicate en mas...this is the opposite of the omission of truth...which is really the same difference...look at me i am trying to call attention to myself...shut up and wear beige...and for pete's sake stop with the reply all...unless you get a message from the president!!!

Everyone could use a little truth

 

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lying...and i am not taking it laying down

really...is it necessary?...i am all for embellishing the truth...either to the upside or for the sake of overstating the negative...come on it captures the audience and makes the story just that much more entertaining...an educated story listener will know where you are going...i mean who cares if the chicken crossed the road...but a chicken wearing prada and tory burch...oh and this chicken's husband has retired during the stock market crash because he was oh that good...and yeah the chicken could do whatever she wanted because the husband is actually having an affair and to cover it up throws feed at his little chicken...oh no i digress...

...okay lying by not telling the or avoiding giving information...the passive aggressive form of lying...you ask you local gal pal a simple question...."so what are you doing this weekend??"...she responds with the cadre of typical suburban fare...sports, camp stuff, errands...blah, blah, blah...and we are going to dinner at 'The Yummy New Restaurant'...oh yeah...so you respond..."who are you going with?"...FRIENDS...duh...would you be going with enemies...like seriously if i took the time to talk to you and am wondering what you are up to this weekend don't you think that i probably know who your 'friend' is...so why not just come clean...what are you hiding...really what is the point...so you have plans with xx and xy...when i find out on Monday from someone who knows someone who knows xx and xy and saw you all out at the swanky "Yummy New Restaurant" i will come back to you and say "so i hear you had dinner with xx and xy" and you will say "how do you know"...seriously, i know because i do...you think now after your passive aggressive lying i am going to tell you how i know...get real...

...okay so you can't take it personally when someone lies or reveals little...

they are fearful of something...fearful that they are losing something, or that something is being taken away from them by giving too much info - they must have been abused in some way as a child)....it is a sign of weakness or insecurity..frustrating to us, but their problem...I usually don't care, but if I do, I force them to recognize what they are doing by outright asking what it is I think they are hiding..."so with whom are you going out to dinner?"...try say 'friends' to that sucker...i also know that you went shopping with another friend and ditched me to go to someone else's party...but hey you are my good friend right ;-))

In the long run, we pick and choose what we need in a friend and weigh their assets and faults.  When I recognize a fault in a friend, I feel sorry for them...but honestly, honesty is top on my list of qualities that I look for in a friend, so I just dismiss those who don't have it..I dismiss a lot of people because of that...I put on a good face, but I don't confide in them....i know they are lying...and they have no idea that i know...shame on them...

If its not your kid why do you go to the principle's office.

so your kid mooned the teacher in elementary school...scared a little boy on the playground...mouthed off to the sub in middle school...and so on...but you keep saying its not my kid...my kid would not do that...you defend their actions...well as adults who used to be kids in the 70's we think mooning is funny...we chuckle...and laugh...but as adults in 2010 we realize that it is not appropriate behavior for a child in an upper middle class community...life has changed...what do you think...we all defend our kids...they are after all an extension of ourselves...but really we are dealing with the apple-tree syndrome...if your eyes are even a bit more than open you should realize that what your kids are doing, how they behave, their quirks are really coming from you and your dear spouse...i mean really who needs a shrink...open your eyes, look at your kids and bam...you got the good, the bad and the holy crap what have you have done right in front of you...your kid is your mirror...so really when your kid has turned on his/her BFF and is bullying them...when little jonny sits at the table your little angel organizes the "cool group" to stand and eat their lunch elsewhere...leaving little jonny alone dazed and confused by what is happening...take a look in the mirror and realize maybe you are the culprit...maybe you are the social climber looking to trade friends...social currency...maybe you are insecure...maybe you are looking for attention...whatever the maybe maybe ...maybe the next time the principle calls and you storm in to tell them that your angel could never, would never do 'that' maybe you should take a deep breath, and claim your child and their behavior because i don't think the principle is calling the wrong family...i am fairly convinced that the principle's office has not gotten the wrong number...just identifying the wrong type of behavior....

Not living your life

Really when did it become okay to not do anything. I see houses with bags of laundry on their front door waiting to be picked up because the cleaning lady does not do shirts...i bump into neighbors picking up dinner at Cosi....one neighbor has about 3 people in help...one for each kid i guess...everyone has a personal trainer rather than going for a walk...not to mention how can these girls not know how to put gas in their cars and trucks...really you have a 9,000sq foot house and the gas tank is off limits...man is that nuts...so what do they do...organize; have parties so that they can leave people off the list, coordinate car pools so their kids can ride with the in crowd, have lunch out so folks know who their friends are and get their hair blown out because curls and frizz are just oh so messy....get busy living....you are not that important...you hair still looks bad...the trainer is not working....and your kids could use some attention....

Seriously people, your kids are IRREVERENT

Seriously people, your kids are IRREVERENT and it is your fault, they are your kids...oh did you just say 'not johnny...he would never do that'...okay than look at the kid, look in the mirror...say apple, tree, apple, tree one hundred times and fix this crap. They are your kids...and you are responsible for their behavior...you indulge them, tell them they are the bestest...and think the irreverence is funny and a demonstration of how johnny is so independent minded...NOT...It is not polite to go to a bar mitzvah and stuff the toilet full of junk...it is not nice to have a party with 85 kids and leave someone off the list (news flash, you can either afford to have 85 kids or your can't but want people to think you can...either way one more ain't going to hurt anyone other than a little kid who is left off the list)...and when did it become cool to not try in school...that was a thing in the 70's...and back then we had greasers and smoking sections...so really, have some manors, teach your kids to say people and thank you - and mean it - tell them to address other adults and Mr. and Mrs. and for peat sake tell them in include other kids and the lunch table...no one in this day and age has enough body odor that your kid needs to run away and take the pose with him...and really your kids are not your social climbing stepping stones..they are your kids...they are the next generation...climb your own ladders and teach your kids to be nice...mean people suck and if you don't put and end to the irreverence your kids are going to be living with you forever because no one else will have them.