Civility in suburbia is dead

I dread using this as a title for a post as i think that it is the underlying concept of this blog...so rest assured you will read these words again...that said...suburbia is akin to purgatory...it is the land of betwixt and between and everyone is fighting to to be the king and queen...you live in a city and there is a culture, a hierarchy, activities galore...frankly no one really cares much about you...you walk anonymously through the streets and engage with your friends on over pasta and wine...when you live in a small town...a real small town not a pretend small town in a metropolitan area...but a town where you count on your community...where everyone in town has a job that helps keep the community going...you have a sense of belonging...but in suburbia where you need to stake your claim there are mischievous activities, unscrupulous practices, one-up-man-ships, half truths and other muckraking...i mean really people i invite you to my birthday party...have the good sense to return the favor...but instead you don't invite me...i feel bad...i label you a bitch...but i win because everybody knows that you are mean, insecure and vindictive...they just don't want to be the next one off your list thus they entertain your bad manors and your fake social status...there is no anonymity in suburbia so all the bad behavior is obvious and prime for dissection...you can sit on the side line of any game and listen to the crowd mocking a bar mitzvah invitation, questioning a friends ability to afford certain material items or events, determining the reason that your neighbor is selling their house, deciding which kid should be on this weeks black list and are not cool enough to be invited to a party, discussing why your friend's kid is not worthy of attending a specific college, and the list goes painfully on...but since your kids are sponges what they are saying on the fields and courts are even worse because they don't you have an adult's deceptive skill of concealing their toxic venom inside of a cracker jax box...they brazenly say that they don't want to be friends with someone, they they are not inviting them to a party, that they are short, awkward, have learning issues...but its okay because the blabbers have been told by their parents that it is never their fault, that they lost a game because another child did not play well, that their poor grade on a project was the fault of the other kids working on the assignment, that they did not do as well on a test because other kids have extra time...it usually comes down to mom and dad being insecure...needing to make themselves feel better by putting others down...not the lesson on civility that existed in days long ago...oh yes on occasion you will find a wonderful person who is positive and upbeat...looking to offer the rarely heard praise of a young athlete, scholar or bar mitzvah...and what happens, the naysayers try to figure out if this person is for real or just a put on...you can win however...buck the trend...offer a compliment, speak politely to the folks in the local stores, open the door for someone...even if you have been introduced to someone 5 times and they refuse to acknowledge you, you acknowledge them....teach your kid to be inclusive...you will all feel better...praise the kid who is smarter than your child, a better athlete, artists or has a special talent...say please and thank you...i thank you for reading my blog...putting up with my rantings and hope that we can all find some lessons here that are worthy...stay tuned i think my next post is already percolating...friendship